Home Is Where Your Heart Is
by LittleReadRidingHood
Summary: Finn and Bellamy survive the blast but with the Grounders out of the way, the surviving 100 must find a way to survive the winter and each other. Some Bellarke, but it will be a slow burn.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or any characters.**

Chapter 1- Dying

"Bellamy, we won't survive the winter if we just stay put. I am pretty sure the Grounders got the message." Clarke shivered visibly at the memory of the charred remains that circled the drop ship after the ring of fire. The memory was only worsened by the fact that what she first looked at the bones and ash, she only saw Bellamy and Finn. She hadn't known that Bellamy carried the unconscious Finn behind the wall and covered him with his own body when the heat wave struck. As a result, Bellamy's back was severely burned and he was currently sitting on Clarke's table while she applied some paste that Jasper made out of green slimy that early humans used to treat sunburns.

"That exactly my point. We showed our dominance and now we will be left alone. We can build shelters and live hap- fuck Clarke! That hurt!" She had reached a place on his back that was more damaged because there was a scrape in place before the burn.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She was only trying to take care of him, why did he have to be so abrasive with her. Bellamy could hear the dejection in her voice and softened.

"No, I'm sorry." The words held finality in them that meant the conversation was over…for now. Clarke knew that they would not be able to insulate the drop ship well enough and that is was so small that they would all kill each other before spring came.

"Okay, you're finished but as much as it pains me to say, you have to stay here inside and without a shirt because I don't want any cloth to attach to your wound. I would hate to rip it back off.

"Are you sure you don't just want the eye-candy for a couple of days?" His question was punctuated by a smirk that graced his lip. Clarke groaned. He was so juvenile sometimes.

"Fine, be my guest and leave but if you come running back because you either got a sunburn on top of the second degree burns you already have or because the fabric from you shirt has imbedded into your soft, damaged tissue then I will expect a full, public apology."

She picked up his shirt and handed it to him and she snatched it away with lightning speed.

He got up to leave and she wanted to beg him to stay because the thought of him in pain seared heart, but she bit her tongue. Bellamy didn't need to get the wrong idea. After the fiasco with Finn, she held the rest of the men at arm's length. Bellamy was no exception.

"Princess thinks she can boss me around. Entitled, annoying, smart, beaut- shit!" He didn't know what surprised him more: the fact that he was about to say Clarke was beautiful out loud or the violent pain that washed through his entire torso when his shirt touched his burns. "Fine, shirtless it is," me mumbled and began rallying the teens.

Terrified yet triumphant eyes studied him and the reality hit him that he was so close to never seeing any of those eyes ever again. As tough as he liked to keep his exterior, Bellamy realized that this was his family. Hell, some of the younger kids looked to him like a father. He couldn't help but remember thinking of Charlotte at that moment and how it felt to lose her. He also remembered the only person who shared his pain and how he had just snapped at her for trying to fix him. He sighed, resigned.

"Listen up everybody," he shouted, "we won this battle, but he haven't won the war. There are still forces that will try and destroy us. Winter is coming and we have no protection against the cold. We are moving camp." Excited whispers filled the air and Bellamy looked up to see Clarke was standing at the entrance to the drop ship with a shy smile on her face. He had listened to her.

'Where will we go?" asked a boy from the back of the group. They all turned back to Bellamy again.

"I will be taking a small group of people to scout out any towns that may have survived. If we can find even one solid building then we have a chance of surviving winter till we can find a permanent place to call our own." Again he looked at Clarke. Her face looked ashen and she ran inside the flap.

"I want you all to think long and hard on this and in the morning I will take names of volunteers."

He walked swiftly away from the group to the ship where he found the Princess hunched over the table. He was so confused. Wasn't this what she wanted?

"Are you trying to torture me Bellamy?" She asked. He words stung.

"I'm giving you what you want. Why are you being so petulant?" He lifted his hand to touch her shoulder but decided to drop it.

"Because I just got you back and now I'm about to lose you all over again! I didn't mean for you to go on a suicide mission!" She covered her mouth with her hands realizing she made herself so vulnerable to him. She waited for the smirk and cocky joke that would be her downfall but instead she only saw confusion in his brown eyes.

Before he could say anything Finn came crashing into the moment.

"Clarke help, it's Raven. She isn't breathing!"

Clarke and Bellamy exchanged a worried glance before running after Finn to Raven's tent.

Raven was lying on her makeshift bed peacefully. Her lips were turning blue and Clarke knew it was too late. The internal bleeding was too much and it had killed her in her sleep. Finn was sobbing over her lifeless body but Bellamy and Clarke stood there and watched. Bellamy noticed a small not in her hand and gently pulled back her fingers to read the contents.

_Clarke,_

_If you are reading this, I didn't wake up. I didn't really want to anyway. Finn is gone and I saved the camp. My purpose is gone. I forgive you for everything that happened the way I forgave Finn. Take care of the kids that were discarded like lab rats. Show them that life is bigger than the Ark made it out to be. Watch Bellamy, he means well, but he needs you. I'm so glad I got to see the rain and smell the grass. Till we meet again._

_-R_

Clarke was reading over his shoulder and when she finished she couldn't hold down the sobs any longer. She turned her face into Bellamy's chest and let the cries ripple through her. He wrapped his arms around her gently and the three mourned the loss of their hero.

**AN: This is my first fic ever so comments and reviews are nice. Also I have nobody to proof read for me so let me know what mistakes I'm making.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own The 100 or any of the characters**.

Chapter 2- Numbness

Clarke's sobs slowed to soft whimpers much to Bellamy's relief. He didn't know how to comfort anybody but Octavia and he felt like a failure at that most of the time. The room was thick with loss, but he cut through the silence with an authoritative tone.

"We need to dig a grave. I'll grab Miller and get started. You guys pull yourselves together. We carry the dead in our hearts, but life is for the living and right now we are on the brink of death ourselves." He tried to be as gentle as possible with them. Even though he and Raven had shared a bed, he felt that he wasn't connected to her the way Clarke and Finn were. Clarke gave a conceding nod and slowly pulled herself from Bellamy's arms. For a moment she missed the warmth but quickly shook the though, grateful that he hadn't mentioned the show of weakness.

Finn however didn't move from his position over Raven's body. He was stiff in his posture. He heard Bellamy leave the tent but waited before he slowly turned to face Clarke.

"I'm going to kill him." It took a moment before Clarke registered what he said. It was wildly out of character for Finn to say something like that since he was more into peace than war.

"What the hell Finn? Why on Earth would you say something like that? He just saved your life!" She was furious. What could have possibly spurred on this reaction?

"When we returned from the Grounder camp she confessed to sleeping with Bellamy, the she gets shot trying to save his life! He ruined everything!" The words came out in a choked sob but were like a bullet to Clarke's heart. We were being beaten and terrorized by the Grounders and Bellamy was getting laid. The thought was like stones in her gut.

"Finn, those were Raven's decisions. Bellamy isn't the issue here. We did this," she stated with as much finality as she could muster. Her statement however was like a smack to his face.

"Of course you would stick up for him. He's got all of you under a spell but I see right through it and for a while I thought you did too. I guess I was wrong about you." He got up to left in the direction of Bellamy and Miller who were covered in dirt and sweat. Clarke was left alone in the tent with Raven's body. She reached across and stroked the back of her hand in a final good-bye before she walked over to her own tent.

Clarke sat on her tiny pile of tarp she called and bed and reflected for a moment on Finn's words. She could feel the cadge fall around her heart to keep everybody else out. The feeling she thought she had toward Bellamy were slipping from her fingertips and she felt the numbness sink in. Even Finn's accusations left their mark on her. She pushed all feeling away, compartmentalizing them. She needed to be strong for the camp and her affections were weighing her down.

She didn't know how long she had spent in her own head but it was beginning to dim outside and the men were announcing Raven's burial. Clarke walked to the scene surprised at the crowd that the girl had gathered considering she wasn't one of the 100. Tears were shed mostly by the engineers she worked closely with to build bombs and bullets but pain was etched on every face. She would be missed.

Bellamy watched Clarke approach with a heave heart. His conversation with Finn as he finished the grave burned into her memory.

"_She knows now," Finn said coming to a dangerously close stop to Bellamy._

"_What are you talking about, Spacewalker?" Bellamy replied with a sigh._

"_She knows about you and Raven. She knows that you care so little about her that you were too busy hooking up with Raven to save her." Bellamy suddenly felt frozen and on fire at the same time. He had just lost his Princess._

He pushed away the thought. The Princess was never his. He watched her anyway. There was an emptiness in her expression that wasn't there before and he wanted to go to her, but decided against it. He would only cause her more pain. That the only thing he was capable of doing right. He turned to the crowd that had gathered to say good-bye.

"Okay, guys. Time to go. Everybody needs a good night's sleep. Remember that the search party leaves tomorrow." The crowd dispersed leaving only Finn, Clarke, and Bellamy again. Finn gave a bitter snort and walked away. The man was changed, but the loss of a loved one will do that to you.

The silence between Clarke and Bellamy went on for an eternity and longer before Bellamy decided it was long enough.

"Clarke…" he began but she held her hands up to stop him.

"Bellamy, I know," she began, "and I understand. You thought I was dead the way Finn though he would never see Raven again. If anybody can understand that it's me." The words felt hollow leaving her lips. She backed away from him and turned on her heels walking quickly away from him.

He desired nothing more than to chase after her, but he knew he had no right. Clarke had dismissed him as no better than the Spacewalker. For some reason, it bothered him. Sure he wasn't known for monogamy, and he was well aware of how he was perceived by the women of the camp, but at some point Clarke's opinion began to matter more than anybody else's. He felt heavy as he walked toward his tent. His back was stinging now that most of the healing paste had worn off his skin. He was tempted to go to the drop ship and see if he could find some and talk one of the girls into rubbing it on for him, but he wasn't in the mood for company and the burn felt almost therapeutic. He felt like it was his catharsis.

He reached his tent and climbed into his bed and let the weight of the day's events crush him. First he lost Octavia to Lincoln and now he lost Clarke. The pressure of his failure were bone-crushing, but he eventually fell into a restless sleep.

Clarke, on the other hand, had retrieved a bottle of moonshine and was halfway through it. She drank until she could hear ringing in her ears and the numbness lift from her. In that moment she allowed herself to mourn the people she lost in one day. She never felt so alone. She stayed slumped back into her tarps and didn't sleep. She just stared at the top of her tent and let her feeling run wild knowing that in the morning they all had to be suppressed again.

**AN: The reviews and follows are crazy encouraging. Again please let me know what mistakes I'm making. I'm still nervous because I'm so new at this. I can't say that post will be "regular" by any standard but I will try!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the 100 or any characters.**

Chapter 3- We Go Together

The camp was awakened early by an earth-shattering shout of pain from Bellamy's tent. It was enough to snap Clarke from her catatonic state and follow the sound with unsure movements since she was still shaky from the alcohol in her blood.

When she arrived there was a group outside his tent that was too afraid to go in but they were too concerned to stay away. She frantically pushed through them and ran straight in.

"Bellamy are- oh my god. Bellamy!" She shouted. Bellamy was on the ground with his shirt off. Clarke could see the layer of skin he peeled off with the shirt still attached to the garment still clenched in his fingers. He must have fainted from either dehydration or pain.

"I need some help! Get him to the ship!" Miller and Jasper ran in and took in the scene with disgust. Careful of his back the carried him to the ship and laid him on a raised piece of scrap metal they were using as a table.

Clarke was already there with cool water and a rag that would have to do as a bandage. She began carefully applying the paste and covered it with a sheet of thin plastic cut from a parachute before she wrapped him with the help from the boys lifting and manipulating the unconscious Bellamy.

Finally she finished dressing the wounds and waited patiently for Bellamy to wake up. Miller and Jasper left and returned hours later with food rations and water.

"Miller, tell the camp that the search party is going to have to wait till tomorrow."

"Noooo..." Bellamy's guttural groan startled Clarke.

"Bellamy!" She ran to his side and held his face firmly in her hands.

"Hey Princess," he growled. His lips tilted up just a hint at her concern for him.

"You can't go today. You are too weak." She was trying to be firm with him but she was so happy that he was awake she couldn't control her smile. His selfish side took over and chose to wallow in her attention.

"Fine. Only because I have to protect my people. I'm leaving tomorrow though and you can't stop me," he retorted. Secretly he was thankful for a few hours more to try and break through the ice between them from the night before.

"Okay," she conceded, "but I'm going with you." It wasn't a question or a request. It was a statement and it was final.

"Absolutely not. Who will watch over the people who don't go?" He asked, hoping he'd just closed the matter.

"Miller will stay to take your place as the disciplinary and Octavia and Lincoln can tend to the sick." She crossed her arms triumphantly.

"Nice try, but I haven't seen Octavia since she left with the Grounder." His face fell at his own words. His heart ached for his sister, but he hid all emotion from Clarke.

"I know where Lincoln's cave is. I will get them, but this is non-negotiable. Either we both go or neither of us goes and we build from scratch here at the camp." She put her arms on the metal slab and leaned it. It was meant to be an intimidating gesture but it just ended up being intimate.

Bellamy was fuming. It was too dangerous and she was being stupid but he knew he was in no condition to fight her. Pick your battles right? Or something like that. He sighed.

"Whatever Princess, but if the camp burns while we are gone it's on you," he growled.

His words stung and that made her realize that she had let him in again. Words don't hurt coming from people you don't care about. She sat up straighter and raised her chin higher. She let the pain slide down her fingertips till she was completely indifferent, and she turned on her heals and left the ship without a word.

Outside she greeted Miller who was standing guard at the entrance.

"He's gonna be fine. I'm going to get Octavia. Make sure he drinks plenty of water, oh and Miller, if I come back and he's hurt I will blame you. You need to make sure he stays put. I'll be back by dinner." Frankly Miller was far more scared of the fiery blond than the icy rebel leader. He nodded quickly. Clarke then gathered enough supplies for the hour hike to the caves and left the camp without speaking to anybody else.

Bellamy was still quite angry when he turned over and grabbed his food ration. Since when did Clarke tell him what to do? He heaved a dramatic sigh. He would never admit it to her face but she was right. He was drained beyond exhaustion. He was nearly comatose. The last few days had been floating around him like a halo of lead waiting to crush him. After witnessing Clarke's break the night before, he could no longer bear the weight. He finished his food and pressed his face against the cool metal and drifted to sleep in comfortable discomfort. He dreamt of her.

_Bellamy walked down the halls of what seemed like a fairly large building. The floors were white tiled and covered in a thin layer of dust. He was searching for something, or rather someone. He turned a corner and saw a soft glow from one of the rooms lining the hall. Slowly, he pushed open the cracked door and saw her at a small desk. Clarke looked up from the sketch she was working on to greet him with a shy smile._

_"Welcome back, Bellamy," she whispered. Why was she so happy to see him? She hated him._

_"What's all this, Princess?" He asked, waving his hand in a circle around the room. There was a desk and a bed. In the corner was a small water basin on a shelf beside a group of books._

_"Home," she stated and got up. She stepped into his personal space and he stepped back._

_"What the hell Clarke?" He nearly shouted. She ignored him and stepped closer till his back was on the door._

_"What's wrong?" She asked pressing a hand to his chest. He gulped before grabbing her wrist firmly, but without violence._

_"You hate me," he retorted and looked away from her crystal eyes._

_She let out a small chuckle and leaned in. He could smell wildflowers and grass on her._

"No, Bellamy. I lov-"

Bellamy shot awake and pressed his upper body off the table. His cheeks were flushed and he could feel the burning in his hand where he held Clarke's wrist in his dream. His whole body was in shock.

He violently tossed his head back and forth, shaking all thought of Clarke away. He didn't have time for the self-righteous Princess and she certainly didn't want anything to do with him, but no matter how hard he pushed, he couldn't rid himself of the heat he felt in his gut from the words he nearly heard.

**AN: Sorry this is moving so slowly. I don't want to rush the story. I promise the next chapter will have far more action. I love you all! -Red**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own The 100 or any of the characters.**

Chapter 4

Clarke's legs were tired and she was sweating even though she was freezing in the cool autumn air. Leaves were falling around her and the trees were nearly bare. Winter was close. She imagined what it would be like for the delinquents to find a place to call home. She pictured happy, healthy, warm teens that could finally sleep easier knowing that they were protected from the elements. The image in her mind brought a smile to her lips. She had grown to love the camp like family, like they were her children to look after.

She knew she was close by the way the rocks were formed and began looking for the entrance to the small cave system. Before she could find it, however, she felt a sharp object forced between her shoulder blades. She lifted her hands and turned around to face an elated Octavia.

Octavia dropped the spear and threw her arms around Clarke. Clarke squeezed her tight suddenly overwhelmed by relief to see her. Octavia let out a choked sob. If Clarke survived then Bellamy survived too.

"Is he..." She asked. Her heart nearly stopped from anticipation. Clarke wiped a small tear of joy from the corner of her eye and smiled at the brunette.

"He's fine, not perfect, but he's alive."

Octavia released the breath she was holding as Lincoln came running from around a tree. Clarke could only assume that she had run off without him knowing. He saw the smile on Octavia face and his frustration melted away. -_that's what love looks like_- thought Clarke.

"Octavia, Lincoln, I need you both at camp," Clarke started, "Bellamy and I are going on an expedition. We are going to find a permanent home." Clarke analyzed their reaction.

"What do you mean? You're leaving? Like to look for what, a town?" Octavia asked with cautious excitement.

"Or at least a sturdy building. Something that survived the war would be perfect."

"Is there anything like that?" Octavia was looking at Lincoln now with hope. He sighed. At first her heart fell and Clarke thought somebody had punched her in the gut.

"There are old cities northeast of here. My people didn't want to disturb the dead that lay there, out of respect. The homes are filled with bones, but otherwise they appear sound."

Clarke was flying. She needed this news. Now they had hope and direction.

"Why do you need Octavia and me?" Lincoln asked. His arm was around Octavia protectively.

"I'm going with Bellamy. The camp needs a healer. Octavia knows first aid and you know medicinal herbs. Please. I can't..."

Clarke stopped herself, earning a look of confusion from the couple. She was going to say she couldn't let Bellamy go alone, that she couldn't stand him leaving without her. She was going to say that she couldn't watch him leave fully aware that she may never see him again. But in saying those things she would be admitting she cared for him, and if she admitted it out loud then it became real. She pulled herself from her thoughts and looked at Octavia.

"I can't leave a bunch of teens without some medical care." That was easier for her to admit. That the camp meant something to her.

Octavia turned to Lincoln who looked skeptical.

"Please," she whispered.

"They will try and kill me for being a Grounder and you for loving one." His concerns were valid.

"I can assure you that will not happen. I will make sure the camp knows that hurting you is a crime punishable by banishment or death."

He thought on it for a moment before nodding in consent. Octavia squealed with delight.

"Let's get our things!" She half limped, half danced toward the cave. Clarke couldn't contain her joy either and hugged Lincoln before she could have a chance to think about it. She pulled away shyly and was reassured with a half smile. Maybe this trip wasn't going to be a disaster.

"Everybody listen up!" Miller shouted across the camp. "I jus spoke with Bellamy. Clarke will be joining him tomorrow morning. We need a list of everyone who is going with them." People began raising their hands and Jasper took down names.

"Thank you all for volunteering. Now on the other hand I have an announcement for those staying. Bellamy is leaving me in charge, but since they may be gone for a week or so they have also found temporary medics. Octavia is and the Grounder, who might I say helped saved your asses, will set up station in the drop ship. You are under strict instruction from Bellamy to treat Lincoln as an honored guest. Understand?"

There was no complaining from the crowd. They'd seen Lincoln come fight for them. They also felt slightly safer with his knowledge. The group nodded in agreement and dispersed back into the camp.

Bellamy was pleased by their reactions. Miller would take care of them. Just then Jasper entered the tent with the list of names. It was short, but they didn't need too many people to go with them. This list consisted mostly of people Bellamy worked closely with, but the last on the list was written with a question mark beside it. Bellamy groaned. Jasper knew he would react that way.

"Go get him," he demanded and Jasper ran to get Finn. Moments later Finn threw open the flap to the drop ship.

"What do you want Bellamy?" He asked with more venom than a pit viper.

"What the hell are you doing? Why do you want to come with us?" Bellamy was trying to stay calm but rage was boiling behind his lips. He knew he was in a vulnerable position right now even with Miller outside the door.

"I'm going to make sure you keep your grimy claws off Clarke." It was a matter of fact statement.

"You know what? Fine. You can come with us, but you are going to tell Clarke why. From what I have seen you are the one Clarke needs protection from. Fuck, I'd be better for her than you." Bellamy regretted the words as soon as he said them because Finn stepped closer to his horizontal, burnt body.

"Let's make a bet then shall we? See who can wins Clarke's heart first?" Bellamy growled and sat up. Pain rippled through him but he didn't care.

"Clarke is not an object! She is not a prize! She is a person and a great one at that."

"How is she any different than any other girl to you? Aren't all women just prizes in your book?" The words stung Bellamy, but they were deserved.

"Because Clarke is better than I deserve. You can come with us and be near her if she wants you, but the moment I believe you are a threat, I will slit your throat." Finn scoffed at him and turned to leave only to be faced with the Princess herself.

Bellamy didn't know how much she heard but he hoped she had heard the whole thing. She needed to know the truth about the Spacewalker.

"Clarke!" Finn exclaimed earning furious look from Clarke that made Bellamy smirk.

"You are not allowed to be happy to see me after what you said to me. Get out."

"I was upset and angry Clarke..." Finn reached a hand toward her face but she smacked it away. The damage was done. Finn gave her the wounded animal look and brushed past her on his way out of the drop ship.

Clarke stared at Bellamy. She heard everything he said, but was still trying to process it. On the way in people patted Lincoln on the back and thanked him which confused her and Octavia. Finally she asked Miller what had gotten into everyone and he told her about Bellamy's announcement. Clarke didn't know what to think about it all. Under her stare he looked almost shy.

Bellamy saw a mix of emotions on Clarke's face, the most dominant being confusion. He stared back at her, looking up through his long eyelashes. He finally had to break the silence.

"Miss me Princess?" He asked with a gruff voice. She snapped to attention and decided that she wasn't going to tell Bellamy what she'd heard. She wanted to know how this all played out.

"How are you feeling? You have more color now, which is good." It was Clarke's turn to feel shy. She stepped into Bellamy's space, she was hyperaware of his breath on her neck. She put her finger inside the bandage he was wrapped in to find the end so she could unwrap it and check his burn. When their skin met it was like electricity shot through them. She inhaled quickly and unwrapped him without skin contact again.

"I brought you a present," she said when she was wrapping him back up.

Just then Octavia ran through the flap on the door and straight toward her brother. Clarke grabbed her before they could collide.

"He's hurt. Please be gentle." It was such a warm sentence that it earned strange looks from Octavia and Bellamy. Clarke blushed. She left the Blakes to their own devices and walked swiftly to her tent to gather her things. She was hoping that she could get some sleep and alone time in but Finn was waiting for her when she walked in.

**A/N: I promised more action but the things I want to write can't be rushed. On the bright side this is a longer chapter. Finn is going to give me an aneurism. Let me know your thoughts! -Red**


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